Forbidden Love Read online

  But above all the memory of its killing would remain to be told and retold whenever the people felt the urge to acclaim their lord. Colin was still a young man, but there were already a multitude of such stories about him, which his clan was pleased to relate.

  About to top the last rise before the stronghold, his keen eyes caught the faint movement in the brush ahead of them. Reining in, the men-at-arms kept their hands on their weapons as their lord called an order to whoever it was to come out at once. There was a moment's hesitation, then a low rustling as a small, fearful group of men, women, and children crept from their hiding places.

  There were perhaps a dozen of them, all dirty, ragged, and clearly showing the effects of long hunger. Some clutched pitiful bundles, others seemed to have nothing but what was on their backs.

  One of the men moved forward hesitantly, his eyes fearfully downcast "Your pardon, my lord, we do not mean to come on your land uninvited. But we have fled the Normans since early spring when they burned our homes and killed most of those in our village. Our food is gone, our women and children cry out for shelter. We have nowhere to go."

  "What was your village?" Colin demanded, his face hard.

  The man named a hamlet near the coast As he did so, a small sound of recognition escaped Roanna. She had heard her brother speak of the place, complaining bitterly that the Norman warlord to whom it was given had no care for the people and loved killing above all eke. The mute evidence of children almost skeletal in their thinness, women so weak as to hardly be able to stand, and men on the last precipice of desperation left no doubt in her mind as to the horrors they had endured.

  "That was a holding of the Cormac clan," Colin said. "What happened to them?"

  "The lord and his sons died at Hastings, sir. His lady and the daughters fell into the hands of the Normans. I know not their fate."

  Perhaps not, but it was all to easy to imagine. Roanna could not escape the obvious comparison with her own treatment as Colin's captive. Her face was ashen as she listened to him quietly instruct the man to lead his people to the stronghold.

  "You will find rest and food there." Cutting short their heartfelt expressions of gratitude, he added, "If you prove willing, you may swear loyalty to me and join my people. The Normans do not come here, but if they do be assured their greeting will be different from what they have met elsewhere. You will be expected to fight"

  Determination flared in eyes that a moment before were flat and dull. "Only give us the chance, my lord! We will serve you well."

  Colin nodded, waiting until the refugees felt in behind them. He set a slow pace the rest of the way to the stronghold, but even so the bedraggled group would not have managed to keep up had not the women and children been allowed to ride. Roanna nestled a tiny girl in her arms, vividly aware of the child's fragility. Though the day was warm, she took the precaution of wrapping her cloak around her and was rewarded by a tiny sigh of contentment as the small survivor nestled closer.

  The people who rushed out to meet them as they passed through the gate seemed little surprised by the refugees. Others of their kind had come before and been taken in. Their lord turned no one away in this time of need. They were quickly absorbed into the milling crowd rejoicing at the successful hunt

  Lifted from her saddle by Colin, Roanna would have preferred to seek the privacy of her bower. Once again she felt the burden of her race acutely. But his firm arm forced her to stand with him as he shared his people's pleasure.

  She was unaware of the longing that lit her face as she looked up at the tall, powerful man beside her. But her absorption did not go unnoticed by some in the crowd, who glanced at each other knowingly.

  After the celebration of the kill, matters turned more serious. Roanna was caught up in the household preparations for winter. While she did not push herself forward, she did make it clear she wanted to help. After some initial hesitation, most of the women accepted her.

  Despite all the sorrow of the last year, they were a fundamentally kind and generous people. If their lord wished to treat her as an honored guest rather than a hostage, they were willing to do the same. The skill she showed and her capacity for hard, steady work quickly won over most of those who were at all reluctant to accept her.

  Before long, she was busy with a multitude of tasks. At mid-week, Colin found her inspecting a vat before pouring in the mix of water and hops that would produce the heady ale everyone favored. He stood for a moment staring at her before she was aware of his presence. When she straightened at last, her face slightly flushed and her hair in disarray, he had to force himself to remember what he had come to tell her.

  "I have heard from your brother. I thought you would want to know what he said."

  Roanna nodded stiffly. It was bad enough suddenly to find Colin looking at her with a very intent gleam in his eye without also being reminded of her status in his household. The thought that Guyon might have agreed to release the hapless cousin filled her with dread.

  Her breath left her in a rush as Colin said, "There is no possibility yet of an exchange. We have merely agreed to talk."

  Did she detect a note of relief in his voice? If so, it was swiftly concealed. Critically, he observed, "Your brother seems unconcerned about any fear you may feel. Otherwise, he surely would not have left you here."

  Bristling at this criticism of he who had always been dearest to her in all the world, Roanna snapped, "My brother knows he can count on me to be strong." She did not add that she understood why he was seizing the chance for negotiations. Unlike many of his fellow Normans, Guyon did not consider the surviving Anglo-Saxon nobility to be enemies. Rather he hoped for an accord that would allow both groups to live together in peace and when necessary, even defend each other from common foes.

  Grudgingly, Colin admitted, "Your letter must have reassured him."

  "As it was meant to. You have said I am safe so long as your cousin remains unharmed, and I see no reason not to believe you."

  He could not quite suppress his pleasure at this evidence of her trust. His harsh features relaxed somewhat as a different kind of tension grew within his hard, lean body. Almost without his being aware of it, he took a step toward her.

  "Roanna. . ."

  This was the time to make some lightly jesting comment that would break the mood. But she was helpless to do so. Instead, she could only stare up at him, her entire being caught by the silvery depths of his eyes and the heady promise of his nearness.

  When his large, calloused hands reached out to touch her gently, she made no effort to pull back. Her body slipped as naturally into his embrace as though it was the one place she was most meant to be.

  Several times in Normandy, Roanna had allowed herself to be kissed by young lords eager to win her favor. She had done so not out of any yearning for their touch, but in simple curiosity. Despite their undoubted expertise, she had come away still baffled by what compelled men and women to behave in such a fashion.

  Now in a single instant the mystery began to unravel. The first touch of Colin's tips against her own sent fire spiraling through her body. All pretense to modesty vanished before the overwhelming need to know more of what he was clearly willing to teach her.

  The gentle pressure of his mouth was enough to make hers open willingly. Enveloped in the warmth of his powerful arms, she trembled as strong, knowing hands slid down her back to draw her even closer. A fierce surge of pleasure tore through her as she felt Colin's huge body quiver in response. Joyful at the realization that he was not immune to her, Roanna welcomed the first tentative thrust of his tongue with unbridled eagerness.

  A low groan broke from him as his restraint snapped. Avidly he took the full sweetness she offered, savoring her to the utmost Pressed so closely together that not a breath of air could move between them, they luxuriated in their exploration of one another.

  Roanna found quickly that she loved the taste and scent of him. The clean, slightly musky aroma of his skin sent rippl
es of delight coursing through her even as the flavor of his tongue and mouth drew her like nectar.

  All thought of anything beyond the quiet, sun-dappled hut vanished. There was no world beyond his embrace, no consideration of anything but Colin and the extraordinary sensations he was making her feel.

  Just as the spiraling waves of pleasure threatened to erupt beyond all control, he drew back. His breath was ragged and a dull flush shone on his high-boned cheeks.

  "I didn't mean. . . Roanna, you intoxicate me. . . ."

  No force on earth could suppress the giggle of purely feminine delight that slipped from her at this admission. Heady with the burgeoning sense of her womanly power, she moved against him temptingly.

  "D-don't. . ." Colin grated.

  The strong arms that had held her so tenderly a moment before were now pushing her firmly away.

  "You don't realize what you're doing," he muttered thickly.

  On the contrary, she knew exactly what she was about. In Colin she found exactly the combination of male strength and gentleness allied to intense sexual attraction that she had always sought The heady combination was more than she could resist nor could she think of any good reason to attempt to do so.

  Dimly in the back of her mind she remembered the deep well of pain and rage that lay between his people and hers. But she pushed that thought aside as determinedly as she tried to move back into his arms.

  Colin thwarted her efforts remorselessly. He could not hope to hide the full state of his arousal, but not for the world would he give in to it Honor and pride, so essential to his very life, demanded that he resist

  His only refuge lay in mockery. Cuttingly he said, "What would your brother make of this scene, my lady? Surely he would find it difficult to accuse me of violating you when you are so clearly heedless of your own behavior."

  Roanna flushed painfully. She pulled away from him as though burned, blinking rapidly to hide the sheen of tears that turned her amber eyes to glistening gems. But the effort was not in time to keep Colin from seeing how badly he had hurt her. Remorse filled him, even as he told himself he had no choice.

  With her slender throat clenched so tightly as to make speech almost impossible, Roanna just managed to murmur, "You have a strange sense of propriety, my lord, considering what passed between us when I was ill. But rest assured, I shall not risk offending you again."

  Briskly she turned from him. Her head was held high as she added, "I really should thank you for reminding me of my position here. Until you hear from my brother, I will remain in my quarters."

  Before Colin could make any response, she hurried away, her graceful stride taking her quickly from his sight

  A moment later a young boy passing the hut was startled to hear a low string of virulent oaths accompanied by the solid thump of a large fist being pounded against the wall in sheer frustration.

  Through the remainder of that day and the next, Roanna stayed in her bower. Her absence was noted by several women who brought her food and inquired with genuine concern about her well-being. Touched by such thoughtfulness, she nonetheless remained determined not to be misled again.

  Colin's cruelty had forcibly reminded her of the gulf between them. The contented sense of belonging she had felt for a too brief time was now exposed as no more than an illusion.

  Alone in her quarters, Roanna grieved for the loss of something that she sensed she would never find again in her life. She withdrew into herself just as she had during childhood when her brother's frequent travels made it impossible for him always to offer the comfort and reassurance she needed in their turbulent world. In the solitude of her soul, she found strength, but also profound loneliness.

  Matters were no better outside. Colin's regret had blossomed swiftly into outright misery. He berated himself as an unfeeling cur. Never before had he been at a loss in dealing with any woman. Holding them in genuine affection and regard as he did, he had become used to having those sentiments returned. The women he had known intimately had understood the game of love as well as he did, and played it with equal relish.

  After years of enjoyable if superficial experience, he suddenly found himself plunged into a situation he could not control. His feelings for Roanna touched a core of his being no one else had even glimpsed. The overwhelming desire she provoked was at once exhilarating and frightening.

  He was tempted to take the safest route and keep the greatest possible distance between them, but two days of that was enough to task his endurance to the utmost. Telling himself he was merely worried about her, he made his way gingerly to her bower.

  Roanna was preparing for bed. She wore a soft, almost sheer gown of pale blue that emphasized the glowing beauty of her skin. Seated on a bench near the bed, she ran a comb of carved oak through her hair, heedless of the silken purity of its lustrous strands.

  Much of her stubborn hurt had faded. But there remained a pensive sadness that all unknowingly made her appear even more poignantly lovely. When Colin knocked, she presumed it was a serving woman and only just remembered to cover herself with a cloak before opening the door. His sudden appearance, as though materializing directly from her thoughts, took her aback.

  "Oh, it's you ... I thought. . ."

  Taking note of her garb, Colin hesitated. "You are about to retire. I can speak with you tomorrow."

  "No! That is, I am not at all sleepy. If you would like to talk now, I would prefer it"

  After brooding about him for two days, she was not about to let him walk away. Still it took all her persuasion to convince him that she did not consider his presence an intrusion and that she could stay awake long enough to hear what he had to say.

  Politely offering him the bench, she perched on the side of the bed. All her concentration was required not to think of the circumstances that prevailed when they were last together in the chamber.

  The forest green tunic Colin wore in no way hid the sculpted strength of his body. She had all she could do not to drink in the broad sweep of his shoulders and chest, the rippling muscles of his arms, the long tapering line of his waist and hips ending in sinewy legs. It amazed her that so large a man could move so gracefully and act, when he chose, with such gentleness.

  Longing to heal the rift between them, she gave no thought to how she appeared to Colin. The fading light turned her hair to spun gold and cast delicate shadows across the hollows of her face and throat Clad only in the fragile gown and cloak, she was as beguiling a picture as any man could wish for. Their seclusion in the bower strained his self-control to the limit.

  Swallowing hard, he murmured, "There is no reason for you to remain in here. I know you are upset about what happened, but you must believe that I did not mean to hurt you. In fact, I only spoke as I did to protect you from harm."

  Leaning forward on the bench, he stared at the big hands clasped between his knees as he added, "What I did was clumsy, but well meant"

  Roanna, having had a chance to think over the events in the hut could not help but recognize the truth of his words. She had acted impetuously without consideration of the probable results. Any man she had ever met, other than Colin and her brother, would not have hesitated to take full advantage of the situation.

  The memory of her wantonness made her blush. Anxious that he not think such behavior was normal for her, she said, "It is I who must apologize. My actions were . . . out of character. . . ."

  That was the closest she would come to expressing any regret The joyful awakening he had sparked within her was too precious to be denied for any reason. If he chose to mink badly of her, she would just have to bear it

  But Colin, far from condemning her, was even more enchanted. At last he had found a woman whose courage and intelligence equaled her beauty. Had she been of his own people he would have lost no time winning and wedding her. But she was part of that hated race whose very name spurred anger in the heart of every Englishman. Staring at her in the velvety light of the fading day, he struggled to remembe
r that he must not think of her in any other way.

  Wet he could not suppress his pleasure when she appeared in the bailey the following morning. As she crossed the edge of the training field, their eyes met and held. A surge of happiness rose within him at her quick smile followed by shyly lowered eyes.

  Hours later he would remember that smile and curse himself for forgetting the difference between friends and foes.

  Chapter 5

  "His body was seen by many, my lord. There is no doubt he is dead." The freeman spoke with quiet assurance. He knew the words he brought were greatly unwelcome, but he understood his duty and would not shirk it

  A low murmur ran through the hall. The sudden arrival of the messenger had brought retainers and their womenfolk to hear what he had to say. Colin would have preferred to see him in private, but he did not get the chance. Barely had the man slid from his saddle when he blurted out his news.

  The laggard cousin was dead in the Norman keep. His body had been seen by Anglo-Saxon servants, who quickly spread the word to the nearest freeman farmer they knew could be trusted. The man had ridden hard to bring the news to the Algerson stronghold.

  Rage burned through Colin, not because of his cousin, whom honesty forced him to admit was a scant loss, but because of the untenable position suddenly facing him. How could any man, even a Norman, callously throw away the life of a woman such as Roanna?

  That her life was forfeit could not be doubted. By every understanding of the role of hostages, he had the right to inflict on her precisely the degree of punishment suffered by his cousin. His people would certainly expect him to do so.

  When the guards approached Roanna in the weaving hut she greeted them without apprehension. She had no premonition of danger. When they took her by the arms, gruffly informing her that she was wanted in the great hall, alarm darted through her. But not until she saw the openly hostile stares of some of the men and women gathered around Colin did she begin to feel genuine fear.